


Please, Forget Me

by Suitjacketsonfire



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive boyfriend, Anxiety, Brotherly Love, Caring Sam, Cute, Depression, Destiel - Freeform, Embarrassed Dean, Gen, Guilty Sam, Jess - Freeform, M/M, PTSD, Panic Attack, Past Abuse, Poor Dean Winchester, Sad Dean, Self Esteem Issues, Stanford, Stanford Era, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Sweet Sam, baby proofing the apartment for Dean, confiscating the knives, depressed!Dean, dick sam, domestic abuse, john winchesters A+ parenting, prositute dean, reliving abuse, sweet Jess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-03 20:58:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15826806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suitjacketsonfire/pseuds/Suitjacketsonfire
Summary: Sam left, Dad left. It had an effect of Dean, and effect that Sam will find out almost too late. And it's partially his fault, whether or not he meant to or not.





	1. I Always Think About You

"Sammy?" Dean asked slowly into the phone. He was hoping the silence he heard didn't mean Sam had hung up on him again.

"Dean." 

Sam's voice was a lot more angry and annoyed. But Dean would take it, at least he hasn't hung up yet.

"I just wanted to ask how school's going?" Dean asked, quickly this time so Sam couldn't hang up before Dean had finished talking.

"School's fine," Sam replied, not bothering to light up his tone or explain anymore.

"That's-that's good," Dean stuttered. Not because he didn't want Sam to have fun at school, because this is the longest conversation he's had in over a year with Sam.

"I gotta go," Sam said so Dean shut up and let Sam hang up. Sam hated him. He's known for a while now, at first he thought it was because he wasn't trying hard enough to have a good relationship with his younger brother, so he kept calling, visiting too every now and again. But now it was clear, it was just Dean. It didn't matter what Dean did, he was enough of a screw up that his family will never like him.

Dad left weeks ago, Dean hasn't gotten a call since. What was the point of his life anymore? Recently it doesn't seem to have a point at all. The whole reason for living was Sammy. But Sammy was Sam now, and Sam didn't need Dean.

\---

Christmas break was starting for Sam. And he has too options. Either stay at Stanford for a week, alone and bored. Or go visit Dean. 

Neither option sounded very enjoyable to Sam. All his friends were going home to their families and Sam didn't want to intrude. But he didn't want to stay at school for his Christmas break.

Sam pulled his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through his recent contacts until he found Dean's name. He was surprised to find out how far down the list it was. But now that he thought about it, the last time Dean called was over a month ago. It was a short conversation, like all of them. Dean asked how school was, Sam said it was fine and then hung up. 

Sam's finger hovered over the call button. You know, now that he thought about it, he could just get a motel in Flordia or something, have his own vacation. Aw, who was he kidding? He was too broke for anything like that, unless he wanted to live off chicken scraps. Dean was always good at getting good food for Sam to eat.

So without thinking much else about it, Sam called and held the phone to his ear. It only took three rings, maybe less, before Dean answered.

"Sam?" He asked, "is something wrong? What's happening?"

"Nothings wrong," Sam cleared his throat. "I have a week for Christmas break, tell me where you are and I'll come 'round," Sam lied. He had two weeks for break, but he didn't want to have to spend that long with his brother.

"Sure," Dean answered after missing a beat or two. "I'll text you the address."

"Great, see you," sam hung up. Man that was awkward. Honestly, that was probably a bad idea. Was it too late to ask a friend if he could tag along?

The address came through a few moments later and Sam sighed. He might as well. 

\---

This had to be some kind of joke right? Maybe Sam was at a party, was he being pranked? Dean sent Sam the address anyway, just out of hope.

He told himself that he didn't care whether Sam showed up or not. But he did. It'd either make or break him. Although, he was pretty sure that neither option would heal him.

He was overthinking. He could tell each time he looked at the clock. Because each time he looked, it felt like it had been 3 seconds, when it had actually been around about an hour.

He didn't know when he should even expect Sam. He might be waiting here for days. He was running low on food, but he wasn't sure he could pull himself together enough to go out and get more money. 

He stopped calling Sam a month and a week ago. It'd been awful. But he was sure Sam didn't want to hear from him. Maybe Sam was coming over out of pity? If he was coming over at all.

The door bell ringing shook him out of his thoughts. He stood up and shook his hands. It doesn't mean it's Sam. It could just be a neighbor looking for their cat. A door salesman. A sex offender who has to tell everyone what he had done. Who knows? It doesn't mean it's Sam.

"Hey Dean." Sam smiled. It was Sam. Dean felt like he was going to throw up.

"Hi Sam."

\---

"Hi Sam" felt so wrong. When had Dean stopped calling him Sammy? Not that Sam liked it, he hated it. But Dean never cared about that before. "You actually came."

"Of course I came. You thought I wouldn't?" Sam smiled but Dean just shrugged and opened the door wider to let Sam in. Something felt different.

"You're real small. Guess I got the good genes," Sam joked, slapping Dean on the shoulder but Dean didn't respond as he usually did.

"Guess so."

"Is dad here?"

"No."

"Where is he?"

Dean shrugged, "I don't know, he left weeks ago."

"He left?"

"Yeah."

Dad left Dean? No way. Bullshit. Dad and Dean were like a team. The sergeant and his perfect little soldier.

Sam noticed then the odd look on Dean's face as he stared at him. "Stop looking at me like that."

"Sorry," Dean adverted his gaze. Any reminiscent of a smile on Sam's face was gone. Something was definitely wrong. Since when did Dean just stay quiet and do what he was told? Sure, he acted like that with dad but never with Sam. Dean was the master of insults and sarcasm. But not anymore.

"What's wrong, man?" Sam asked and Dean looked back up at him again.

"What? Nothing."

"Whatever," Sam waved it off. So what if something was wrong. Dean'll handle it. Sam was tired of having to deal with his families issues.

Sam opened the fridge in search of food, "hey, it's like a desert in here," Sam complained.

"Right, sorry, I was just about to go out. Anything you want?"

See everything was fine. That's the same kind of response Dean always had.

"Get some salad?"

"Sure," and Dean was off.


	2. be gentle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean comes home beaten up. Sam realizes something's wrong, but he can't quiet place his finger on it. Bobby gives him a wake up call.

Dean stumbled back into his motel room. He was pretty sure he had a concussion or something. He just had to sleep it off.

"Dean!" Who was that?

"Sam? What are you doing here?" Dean asked, holding onto his brother's shoulder for balance.

"Christmas break, remember? What happened to you?" Sam lead Dean to the bed, Dean didn't fight.

"Don't worry about it," Dean waved it off.

"How am I supposed to do that? Your bruised all over, did you get in a fight?"

"No."

Dean was especially out of it today, but even out of it he could tell Sam didn't believe him, even though Dean was telling the truth.

"Did you even make it to the store?"

"No."

"Dean!"

"Sorry!"

"You can't go more than 5 minutes without seeking out fights? God, it's just like before I left for Stanford," Sam groaned.

"Why don't you just leave again, then!" Dean yelled, sitting up more on the bed. "If it's so awful being around me, just forget I exist again!"

Sam stared at Dean oddly. "Are you crying?"

"No."

"Dean," Sam moved closer to Dean, but Dean pushed him off.

"Fuck you, I'm going out." Dean pushed himself off the bed and out of the room before collapsing on the steps and pulling out a cigarette.

\----

Sam looked out the window and found his older brother slumped over and smoking. Something was wrong and he was stupid to ignore it. Smoking? Dean never smoked. 

Sam thought about what to do, and finally rested on calling Bobby.

"Sam?"

"Hey Bobby. I want to ask you about Dean..."

"Why?"

"Because I came to visit him... and something's wrong."

"Of course something's wrong, you dumbass!" Sam flinched in shock. "You and your daddy are that boys world, and suddenly they're both gone, and they don't ever talk to him."

"I-I thought he'd be fine."

"Well, he ain't fine. That on top of what that boys gotta do to survive..."

"What's that?"

"That ain't my story to tell. You wanna know what's wrong with your brother, talk to him. That would be a good step forward." Bobby hung up. Sam looked back outside the window. Dean had passed out.


	3. The Chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam finds out everything, cue a good ol' crying session.

"Dean!" Dean groaned as the voice brought him out of sweet, sweet unconsciousness. It was the closest he could get to death, at least since after the incident.

"Piss off!"

"Oh my god Dean, thank god," Sammy? Dean forced his eyes to open and look over at his worried little brother. He was sitting on the floor, at the edge of the bed, gripping onto Dean's wrist. 

"Dean, I'm so sorry," Sam said, lifting his forehead off the bed, Dean squinted as he noticed the tears running down his brother's face. Instinctively in leaned over to wipe them away.

"Why are you crying? What happened?"

"I'm so sorry, De," that's when Dean noticed the stack of papers laid out on the floor. They were never just laying out on the floor, Dean always had them hidden away.

"You read them," Dean stated.

"Yeah, Dean, I read them," Sam sniffles. He read them. Dean wanted to run. Sam, his little brother Sammy, read the letters. The letters to his mom. He wrote about everything in them. His mom was always the only one he could confess things to. He told of the prostitution, starving himself to feed Sam, even his suicide attempt a month ago. And Sam had read them.

"Was that why you stopped calling?" Sam gripped Dean's wrist tighter. Dean closed his eyes, not wanting to face it. The truth. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I- I couldn't get it out," Dean choked.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't here for you. And when I was, I was constantly bashing you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I love you, I do. I love you. I'm sorry."

Dean sat up and pulled Sam in for a hug. "It's okay, Sammy, I know." But Dean didn't know, not before now.

"Come back to Stanford with me?"

"What?"

"Stanford. You don't have to take any classes or anything. I just- I just don't want to leave you."

"Okay, Sammy, I'll go. Better than a motel anyway," Dean tried to lighten the situation, but his forced laughter sounded more like a sob.

"I missed you calling me Sammy," Sam whispered.

"Well I'll just have to do it more often Sammy."

Sam looked up and saw Dean smile. A real smile. And Sam realized how long it had been since he's seen Dean smile. Yea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much!! Should I write another part? I'm not sure yet...


	4. Dancing with the Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The drive to Stanford is an angsty one.

Dear mom,  
I think I love him.  
I've been told I'm dancing with the devil, but I don't care. This relationship probably checks off every warning sign of an abusive relationship.  
He beats me up. He got me into cigarettes, and even more into alcohol and cutting. But at least he pretends to care.  
Mom, what should I do? I remember you and Dad having issues. I don't think I'd treat myself any better without him. He's my rock, even though the water gave him edges.

Dean read his last letter over and over again. A ghost of his past self was laughing in the back of his head, wondering when he got so girly, that he may as well dye his hair black and purchase some eyeliner. But there were bigger, louder, meaner voices.

Part of him was worrying. Sam read this. He now knows that he's gay. Gay. Dad would have killed him if it was him. There was a ray of hope that maybe Sam didn't care. But it was over shadowed with the realization that Sam knows of his abusive lover. It's only a matter of time before the questions start. Dean didn't know how he'd answer them, no one cared enough to ask.

"Stop reading that," Sam said, stealing glances at Dean before looking back at the road.

"Why?"

"Because it's not helping your mental state." Sam grabbed the paper and threw it into the backseat of the impala.

"My mental state is fine," Dean argued but he didn't try to get the letter back.

Sam snorted. Then it was silent. "Was it him?"

"Was what him?"

"Yesterday. The bruises. Was it him?"

Dean looked down at his hands. He was picking at the skin around his nails making a light pink mess of his hands.

"You don't deserve that, y'know," Sam figured it out himself. Dean still didn't answer. "If you want I can introduce you to some- people at my school. There are some good people there, people that do deserve you."

"What's that mean? What about him?" Dean elected to keep him anonymous. Less trouble for him.

"You're not going back to him, Dean. Delete his contact, don't talk to him, he's not healthy for you."

"What are you? My therapist?"

"Yes. But your brother too."

"Clearly you're in the wrong major, Sammy. You need to switch to psychology."

"Tell you what, if I'm going to switch, I need to make sure I'm good at it first. Let me know. Give me feed back, I'll take little notes, study them all night long."

Dean knew it was a trap, Sam even threw some humor in there to make it sound more believable. But Dean knew that Sam just wanted daily updates on Dean's 'poor mental state' but Sam looked so happy. So Dean agreed.

At least he's pretending to care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry this took forever, not going to lie. I kinda forgot about this story and then school started but here it is. I'll update more often now hopefully. Thank you all so much for reading and your lovely comments!


	5. It's been so long

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets some love he hasn't had in years.

Dean walked timidly into Sam's apartment. He's never been here. It felt reaching into the cookie jar as a kid. Like he was breaking the rules.

"Me casa, su casa," Sam gestured to the apartment, "or how ever you say it."

"Sam?"

A woman was standing in the hall. Looking confused. Dean looked from her to Sam and back to her. Dean was considering pulling his gun out on her but Sam smiled and walked up to give the woman a hug.

"Hey Jess, what are you doing back so soon? I thought you were staying at your parents for the break," Sam said as he pulled back.

"I was but they're a bunch of jerks. I thought I'd rather spend it with you here but when I got here this morning you were gone."

"Sorry Jess, I should have told you, I went to visit my brother Dean," Sam turned around and pointed at Dean. Dean just stared. "But something came up, so Dean's gonna stay here for a while."

"That's fine," Jess grinned and moved to get closer to Dean. "I'm Jessica."

"Dean."

"Dean this is my girlfriend."

"I didn't know you had a girlfriend."

"We've only been dating a couple of weeks. But it's been great so far," Sam looked at Jess and Dean immediately recognized that look. 'He' used to look at him like that. It faded after the first few days. Dean didn't think he ever stopped looking at him that way.

"That's great Sammy, I'm proud off you," Dean grinned and Sam grinned and the brothers shared a moment or two of comfortable silence. It's been so long since Dean had that, he felt like crying.

"Movie?" Jess interrupted, holding up Elf. "I was about to watch this before you guys came in."

"Sounds perfect. I'll make popcorn." Sam said and ducked away into the kitchen. Leaving Dean with Jess.

"Come on, tv's this way." Jess lead Dean to their couch and they sat down on opposite ends of the couch, leaving room for Sam.

"I'm usually more talkative than this."

"No it's fine, new place, I'd get shy too," Jess tried to comfort him. Dean just smiled and let her believe that was why.

A couple of minutes went by and Sam wasn't back. "Sam! Hurry up!"

"Just start it without me! I'm gonna go to the bathroom!" Sam yelled back so Jess did just that. A moment later Sam returned with the popcorn then ran off again and then eventually showed up to stay.

Sam had an obnoxious laugh Dean rediscovered, it made Dean laugh. Another thing, Sam was a big cuddled. Apparently with everyone. He pulled a blanket over the three of them and in minutes they were huddled together.

"I'm gonna get a drink," Dean said towards the end, escaping the toasty prison. Not that he didn't love it. It's just been so long since he was that close to someone.

"Kay, cups are in the second cabinet," Sam instructed. Dean nodded and went to the kitchen. On his way to the seconds cabinet he passed the knife holder. It caught his attention. Not because he wanted a knife, but because if he did, he wouldn't be able to get one. The holder was empty. What was the point of it if there were no knives?

Dean put his water task to the side and instead opened all the drawers and cabinets in search of their knives, but there were none. That's ridiculous! Dean will have to teach Sam the purpose of knives. Dean got his water and went back to the couch, flicking Sam's head as he passed it.

"What was that for?" Sam rubbed his skull.

"You don't have any knives."

"Why? Were you looking for one?" Sam stared Dean down. Dean felt uncomfortable, like he was caught lying, but he wasn't. He wasn't looking for one.

"No. I just noticed the empty knife holder and I thought to myself, what a waste of money. I'll have to confiscate Sammy's money." 

"Well, worry not, they're in the dishwasher."

Dean shrugged and they continued to watch the movie. But when Dean got up to put away his glass, he opened the dishwasher to place it in there, and might of purposefully looked around for the knives. They weren't in there.

It then dawned on Dean. Sam knew of what he did in that bathroom last month. He locked away all the knives from Dean. Dean wasn't sure what to feel.

It's been so long since someone worried for his safety.


	6. I can't help falling in love with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean hangs out at Stanford while Sam and Jess are at class.

Body's moving, swaying in tune to the music. Dean's cheek pressed to his lovers. Imagining sweet nothings being whispered.

"I love you," Dean whispered. No response. 

"Dean why are you crying?"

That's when he stopped loving Dean. 

Or more like when he stopped pretending.

"Nothing Sammy, got something in my eye," Dean furiously rubbed his eye for the effect and Sam looked at him with an off look. 

"Listen Dean, both Jess and I are at class pretty much all morning. You can stay here or you can hang out at the campus, it's your choice."

"Nah, I'll go to your big word school, I need to get out of this apartment." 

"Ok." Sam nodded, "ok."

 

Dean hadn't expected to feel this out of place. There were college kids, studying or carrying heavy textbooks or just looking smart and there was Dean and his dumb ass. He didn't fit. He was the straight D kid who dropped out in Junior year. And he felt like he stuck out like a sore thumb.

It seemed that he wasn't the only one to notice how odd he looked. A young woman with brown hair and a big smile came up and sat next to him on the bench.

"Are you new here? I haven't seen you around."

"I'm just waiting for my brother, sweetheart," Dean slapped in the 'sweetheart' in a halfhearted attempt to get some of his effortless romantic side back.

"Oh, well I'm Lisa Braeden," they shook hands.

"Dean."

"Who's your brother?"

"Sam."

"Sam Winchester?" She asked but Dean stopped listening. Across the yard was a man staring at him.

Dark hair, blue eyes, it looked like him. Dean told himself that was absolutely impossible. He didn't know Sam went to Stanford, Dean didn't want to risk Sam's safety. It had to be someone who just looked like him. Right?

But then he started walking towards Dean and Dean broke out into a run. Dean promised Sam he wouldn't leave that bench so they could find each other but Dean quickly threw that promise away.

He didn't bother looking behind him. He focused instead on finding a hiding spot. 

He can not be here. Not now. Dean was just starting to realize he wasn't what he needed.

He was just starting to think that maybe he was worth love.


	7. ANXIETY ANXIETY ANXIETY ANXIETY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam panics over his lost brother.

"Sam."

Sam turned around to find Cas, Cas was staring at him worriedly. Sam instantly looked around for his brother, but he wasn't there.

"Where's Dean?"

"I found him, and I started to go towards him and he just ran. I tried to catch up to him... I lost him." Cas panted. Sam noticed the sweat dripping off his friends forehead and his flushed cheeks. "I'm sorry."

"No, no. It's ok. I probably should have known Dean would react like that," Sam said absentmindedly and regretted it soon after he got Cas's famous head tilt. Sam sent Cas to get Dean and bring him to the cafeteria. Sam wanted to stay in the library and do more work so he thought he'd have his best friend get his brother and get him some food. It didn't quite work out like that.

"I'll go find him," Sam packed up his half finished work into his backpack and scurried out to find his brother.

He called first. No answer. He called again. No answer. Sam was starting to worry. What if Dean ran back to him. Whoever him was. What if Dean wasn't paying attention and got hit by a car? Maybe he was over reacting. Dean wasn't a baby. He was older than him.... but he was dealing with so much...

Sam wandered around the campus helplessly, looking everywhere but Dean was gone. 

Sam ran a hand through his hair and got his phone out and called Jess.

"Hey, Sam."

"Jess. I lost Dean."

"What do you mean you lost dean?"

"I mean he ran off and I can't find him."

"Ok, ok, calm down baby. Ok, breathe. I'm sure Dean's fine," Sam only then realized that he was hyperventilating, "do you need me to come help you find him?"

"Are you busy?"

"Just doing homework. This is more important. I'm coming. Where are you?"

Sam looked around trying to think up of directions when his phone started ringing. He pulled it away from his phone in confusion then snapped it up to his ear.

"Dean's calling me. I'll call you back." Sam hung up and answered Dean's call instead. "Dean where are you?"

"Sammy. He's here." Dean was whispering. Why was he whispering.

"Him-him?"

"Yes!"

"Ok, ok, ok, tell me where you are. I'll come get you," Sam looked around as if he'd get a psychic vision of where his brother was.

"Inbetween two buildings. I don't know where. There's a bench down the way, and a big purple trash can."

"I know where that is. I'm coming," Sam took off into a sprint. How did he find Dean? Once Sam found Dean and got the details out of him, he was calling the police.

Sam saw a curled up silhouette of a person and hung up, running toward his big brother.

"Dean, are you ok?" Sam placed a hand on his shoulder, unintentionally startling him.

"Fine I lost him," Dean said but he didn't seem so sure, the way he was looking around.

"What did he look like? I'm going to give a description to the police to keep him away from you."

"Uh, tall. Dark hair, blue eyes. Serious."

"Wait that sounds like Cas."

"Cas?"

"Yeah. He's my friend. I sent him to get you," Sam stated and it clicked. Dean saw Cas, thought it was his ex-boyfriend, and ran for his life. Sam wasn't sure how much of a relief that was though. "Dean, you're okay, he's not here. It's just Cas. Cas is harmless, wouldn't hurt a bee."

"You sure?" Dean sniffled.

"Positive. You can meet Cas if you like, see for yourself."

Dean hesitated but eventually nodded. Sam helped Dean to his feet and brought him back to the library. This was going to be one hell of an experience.


	8. I like your face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This isn't as angsty as the other chapters, a nice refresher for your feelings ;) also, this will be a destiel pairing, that wasn't my original plan, it just happened. Also, John will most likely come back, to be honest, I haven't planned much after this chapter. Thanks guys!

20, 19, 18, 17...

Dean's counting down the steps till they reach him- Cas he means.

16, 15, 14...

They seem to go by too fast.

13, 12

Dean knows it's not HIM. Believe him, he does. He's been reciting it the past 8 steps.

11, 10, 9, 8, 7

SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, he's turning around!

6, 5, 4

Wait that's not what his face looks like. It's not that soft and caring.

3, 2, 1

He's smiling. This isn't him at all. 

This is Cas.

"Hello, Dean. My name is Castiel." He stuck his hand out for a handshake. Dean saw Sam give him a look out of the corner of his eye that said he didn't have to but Dean shook Cas' hand. He wanted to. This wasn't him.

"Sorry I ran away from you, I thought you were someone else," Dean apologized, which he didn't do often. He didn't recall ever even apologizing to HIM. Cas was just... special. In a good way.

"It's okay." Cas smiled and it lit up the room.

"Sam you can finished being a nerd, I'm fine with going to the cafeteria with Cas."

"You sure?" Sam stared at him dumbfounded.

"Yeah. He isn't who I thought he was." He was so much better.

Sam hesitated for a moment or two longer before retreating to his Wild habitat called the library and Cas motioned for Dean to follow him.

"Who did I remind you of if you don't mind he asking," Cas made conversation.

"Someone not very nice. But you don't really look a lot like him. Your faces are completely different. You're nicer."

"How do you know? You barely met me," Cas asked confused yet smiled nonetheless. 

Dean shrugged, "I just know."

"What do you want to eat?" Cas asked as they walked into the cafeteria. It was only then that Dean realized that he didn't have any money.

"I'm good," Dean nodded, sitting down at table, but his stomach growled each time he saw the shadow of food.

"Don't forget to take care of yourself, Dean." It seemed so out of place, yet he somehow knew. When Sean was hungry, HE never noticed. He would leave Dean for days or weeks sometimes, alone, without much food, and Dean couldn't leave the apartment. Well, he could, but he decided he had enough scars after leaving the first couple of times.

"I won't."

"I'm buying you a salad, chose something else if you like, but I'm getting you something," Cas demanded with his low voice. Maybe it wasn't a demand. Dean wasn't sure.

"Burger?" Dean asked carefully. Cas simply nodded and left Dean alone on a bench again.

Dean started to brainstorm ways to pay Cas back. He was broke beyond belief. How much did a burger cost anyway? He could probably earn enough pretty quickly if he tried. Of course there's always ways to pay someone back besides money, but Dean wasn't sure what Cas would want, so he thought it best to stick to money for now.

Soon enough Cas was back. A burger and salad in hand. He placed the burger in front of Dean and Dean's mouth watered. When was the last time he had a burger that looked this good? Dean couldn't remember. He disregarded the manners his mother taught him before she died, and stuffed his mouth.

"How long are you staying with Sam for?" Cas asked and Dean didn't wait until he swallowed to answer.

"Dunno. Ask Sam."

"Ok."

They are in silence for a while longer.

"Where were you living before?"

"Bounced around, state to state."

"Alone?"

"Sometimes I was with someone."

"A friend."

"No."

"Oh."

More eating. More silence.

"Are you uncomfortable?"

"Why would you think that?" Dean actually met his eyes this time.

"I might be wrong, but I learned in public speaking that little eye contact and short answers means they are uncomfortable."

"Oh, sorry man. I was just thinking," Dean half lied. He wasn't really paying attention. It didn't seem real to him. Before coming to Cali with Sam, the only people he talked to was Him, and occasionally Sam, Dad, and Bobby. But that was it. It was odd having someone, especially someone he liked, talking to him.

"About what?"

Shit he's onto him.

"I like your face."

Fuck. Did he just say that?

DING.

Thank the fucking lord. "It's Sam. He's done studying. See ya." Dean rushed out of his seat.

"Do you need me to show the way back?" Cas started to stand up.

"Nope! I got it!" And Dean ran. Guess he can't ever talk to Cas again.


	9. and then you became my sunshine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry another fluffy short chapter but I kinda had to get this out of the way before I can get back to the angst which we're all here for.

"So, how'd lunch with Cas go?" Sam asked as the brothers started to walk back to the apartment.

Dean sighed, "terrible."

"What?" Sam snapped his head to Dean's direction, "why?"

"I said I liked his face Sam," Dean hid his face in his hands, "how embarrassing is that?" Much to Dean's horror, Sam laughed. Dean smacked him. "Dude, what the hell?"

"Sorry, sorry," Sam said stifling his laughter, "I just didn't expect that. I bet it wasn't that bad. If Cas even understand, because believe me, he's oblivious, he wouldn't mind."

Dean was quiet for a little longer. 

"Does Cas have a..."

"A boyfriend? No."

"Girlfriend?"

"I highly doubt it because he's gay."

Dean immediately perked up.

\---

Sam knew Dean would probably smack him for it later, but he gave Cas Dean's number and said that Dean totally had the hots for him. Cas' beam gave the feeling that Cas liked him back so Sam waited.

\---

'Hello, Dean.'

Dean stared at the message and thought of who it could be. When he came up with nothing he texted back.

'Who is this?'

'Cas'

Shit.Shit.Shit.Shit. Dean considered saying 'sorry, wrong number' but before he could, Cas texted.

'I wanted to say that I like your face too, but you left before I had the chance yesterday.'

Dean's heart was beating a mile per minute.

'Really?'

'I don't see what was confusing about that message.' Dean laughed.

'How'd you get my number anyway?'

'Sam.'

Oh Sam was gonna get it. Even though it turned out to be a good thing.


End file.
